When you come to a fork in the road, take it
– Yogi Berra
When two people come to a decision point and diverge, their paths change. Although they were both at point A, Amy made a decision that brought her to point X, and Ben made a decision that brought him to point Y. Now they’re off to the races, and each subsequent decision they make will send them down additional branches. Then, we’re left with a tree full of unrealized futures and two individuals who are probably very far away from each other, even though they started at the same point.
What if we want Amy and Ben to work together? How can we get them to see each other’s perspective, given the distances that they have traveled and the experiences they have gained?
There are two options:
- Work backward: Ben and Amy both started at point A. Can we get them back there so that they are once again on common ground?
- Work forward: From where they are now, can we guide Amy and Ben in making their future decisions so that their divergent paths converge at a shared point B?
Working backward may be difficult if there have been a lot of steps since that moment of togetherness. What’s more, Amy or Ben may not want to work backward if they see their journey forward as growth, evolution, improvement, etc. Working forward can be hard because we may not know the guidance needed to move Amy and Ben to point B. We could, in trying to encourage them, push either one (or both) further away from point B and common ground. Both options will take a lot of work, and it’s not clear ahead of time which will be the smoother or more successful option. The point is, it takes work to bring people back together once multiple forks have been taken.